IC Inbox: Empatheias

[young_oldman]

[Your birds might get a little plump on bird seeds. Just saying.]

Comments

[opportunitycosts]

I see. Well adapting to a new life like that is pretty difficult, especially one that's so different from your own. Different worlds, different culture. [Been there, done that.]

Think if Shaarnath ever opens its gates and there's a way to travel back and forth you'd move down there instead?

[young_oldman]

I thought of that. It's certainly a tempting idea.

But I decided against it. Too many people that I care about are up here. I'd rather stay in this city and help keep it safe from harm.

[opportunitycosts]

[A light chuckle.]

Good choice. Although, if you did, you could become my go-to guy to help expand my business networks.

[Oh Alvin. Always looking at things in a way to work toward his advantage.]

[young_oldman]

Here I am baring my heart out to you, and you're trying to make a quick syvl out of my predicament!

[But he's not mad. He knows Alvin's just joking...or at least, that the man would consider a business proposition a much more secondary, or even tertiary concern, to what Lu Meng's struggling with.]

I don't think you want me as your representative down there either. I've never been much of a diplomat.

[opportunitycosts]

[Chuckles.]

Caught me.

But nah, I think you'd be pretty good. You're honest and trustworthy. Pretty good selling points right there. Don't forget you already have at least one business negotiation under your belt.

[young_oldman]

You're shameless.

[A fleeting ghost of a smile is felt over the link.]

Well, you're no shady businessman either, Alvin.

[opportunitycosts]

Hah, thanks, Lu Meng. [And that's genuine appreciation right there. He doesn't always need it said, but a little bit of confirmation that he's doing pretty good about himself never hurts.

And... Then the chuckles fade, and there's a slight...heaviness now weighing over the connection.]

So, yeah. The reason I called you up.

[So he starts, but he doesn't seem as quick to continue. It's as if he's gathering his thoughts.]

Well, mostly I'm asking for advice, but I don't want to bother you if you're not feeling up to it. [Even if Lu Meng seems and sounds better, he doesn't want to push his friend, either.]

[young_oldman]

[Advice from him? According to almost everyone, he's been the king of bad decisions for the last few months. He's certainly surprised that Alvin wants to seek his counsel, when everyone else seems to think he can't handle himself and has been treating him with kiddy gloves.

But that's him, and this is about Alvin and he'll just have to trust that Alvin knows what he's doing. Still, he does need a moment to bite back some impatience that Alvin had to tack on the second half. How much more improvement is he going to need to show to get people to stop treating him as if he's going to fall apart with just the slightest emotional distress?]

What would you like to ask, Alvin? [His voice is perhaps a little too polite, a little too patient, but he's got a better grasp on that temper of his, at least.]

[opportunitycosts]

[He's juuust being considerate—although, it's not just Lu Meng's personal health he's thinking about. The advice he wants to ask about...well, one isn't too bad, The other, though. The other he might end up not asking about.]

One of them is about Elize. [There's a small trace of a flicker of a smile, a small bubble of happiness that can't be helped.] She... Well, she thinks of me as her dad.

Hard to believe, right? [There's a light, almost nervous laugh in his words, one that belies the faltering emotions that lay beneath that bit of joy.]

[young_oldman]

Not particularly. You two are very close to each other. You just needed to stop worrying so much about your past.

[Really Alvin, what took you so long to take that step? It's been months since Elios's attack when Alvin first brought up the issue.

But he's not as exasperated as he sounds. Really, he's glad for Alvin. It's why his tone loses part of that grumpy edge and softens into a quiet kind of joy.]

Congratulations on becoming a father then, Alvin. You'll do well.

[opportunitycosts]

[A small cringe.]

Yeah, well. Would help if I had some advice on how to really be one. Never had a father figure growing up, so I'm kind of out in the dark on this one.

[young_oldman]

[He didn't have a father figure growing up either. Still, there's a thoughtful pause on the other side as he considers Alvin's question.]

"Fathers must raise their children to be upright, respectable and contributing members of society." That is what I was taught that matters.

However, I believe such strict guidance must be tempered with love and understanding, less it breeds distance between father and child.

I apologize for my frankness, but how have you been raising Miss Elize so far? Where do you feel you are lacking, and what do you think you have done well in?

[opportunitycosts]

[A wry laugh.]

Man. That's giving me memories of when I was a kid. Well, before certain events happened. [Has he told Lu Meng about him originally born as the one and only heir to one of the most powerful families in Elympios? Not something he thinks about explaining off the bat, in any case.]

But as for what we've done so far... Kind of hard to say. Really it hasn't been much different than what I've done before. I mean, she's thirteen so it's not like I have to baby her. [Even. If. She sometimes. Acts too adorable.]

I mean... I dunno. [Small vibration of frustration.] I know I can protect and support her, but I don't know if I should be doing something else.

[young_oldman]

It's good to protect and support her, but you also have to ensure she grows up with the correct morals. This might mean that you have to take a firmer hand when dealing with her as compared to before where you were friends.

If you were friends this might not be so, but as her father, you now have the right to reprimand and correct her as you see fit. Indeed, it is your responsibility to step in the moment you sense something is amiss, even if she is unhappy about it.

Being a father sometimes means having causing unhappiness to your child if it's for their own good. You can't let yourself feel down if Miss Elize is cross with you for disciplining her.

[opportunitycosts]

I think I've done that a few times at least. After Sosyne's attack, she snuck out of the house without me knowing. She was fine, but you can better believe I gave her a harsh scolding and grounded her a bit.

[Okay. Maybe he wasn't the harshest person in the world, but he DID give some punishment.]

[young_oldman]

Then so long as you are firm on where you stand with her as a father to a daughter, I don't see what else you have to be worried about. You've got her best interest in heart, you're working towards being a better person for her sake, and you know how to be firm with her when needed.

[opportunitycosts]

[Again a small bubble of uncertainty develops.]

I just feel—I dunno. You're probably right that I don't really have to do much more, but somehow I feel like there should be something I be doing. Like to make up for all the crap I've pulled or something.

Guess I'm just overthinking it, huh?

[young_oldman]

Yes, you are. [Bluntly confirmed. Let him just poke that bubble of uncertainty.] Still, that you are having concerns is not a bad thing. It just means that you have a strong desire to do this right.

If you are ever in doubt, feel free to contact me again. But as long as your heart is in the right place, you shouldn't have anything to fear.

[opportunitycosts]

Heh, thanks, Lu Meng. Maybe what I needed was just to hear someone say that. Not exactly a lot of adults, let alone guys who are fathers around to ask.

Although, with Elize being a girl... I know how to handle women, but raising one is an entirely different story. [Like, he KNOWS there are things that are gonna happen sooner rather than later but. Well. You know.]

[young_oldman]

I can only speak in general about raising a child. I can't really offer you advice on how to raise a girl in particular.

But you've already ticked some of the boxes. Such as being an overprotective father and vetting her potential suitor. [Yeah. Don't think he forgot how you talked about Roxas. :/ ] Has Roxas officially asked to court Miss Elize yet? [He maaaaaybe asking this just to tease Alvin a little, but he's also genuinely curious on the state of their young charges romantic lives.

Or he supposed, his ex-young charge. He and Roxas were not on speaking terms anymore after the mess that was Sosyne's attack on the city. But he doesn't bear the teen any ill will, and he still cares for Roxas deeply.]

[opportunitycosts]

[GOD LUEY WHY. WHY'D YOU HAVE TO CALL THAT DUCK BUTT A POTENTIAL SUITOR—

The samurai is going to feel that unnerved tremble and could probably easily visualize the unenthused face Alvin has.]

As far as I know, no. They're just doing the little flirting game.

[Although. In truth. While he is kiiiiinda protective of Elize about this, Roxas doesn't seem that bad of a kid. Which is actually probably why it's more annoying. Other than being boring and has the worst hair cut, he can't really put any fault on the kid. And if Elize likes him, well. She's old enough to decide what she wants.

It's just. It's just WEIRD. Were this back home where he doesn't have as much a custodial relationship, he'd tease her to hell and back. Like a brother would to a sister. But since he has been taking care of her... It's like somewhere between that and wanting to be sure she's happy.]

[young_oldman]

Roxas would not engage in such uncouth behavior. [Hark the heralds, it's the whiteknight!] He would treat Miss Elize with the utmost respect as befitting a young gentleman, even as he courts her for her deeper affections.

[opportunitycosts]

[...Uh.]

Maybe "flirting" is different where you're from, but it's actually kind of a normal part of the "courting" aspect.

Unless you're thinking about the way I flirt, and trust me, I don't think Roxas is even close to pull off my levels.

[Is he complimenting himself or insulting himself, who knows it's Alvin.]

[young_oldman]

How is flirting normal? Flirting is based on the woman's appearance. Such shallow, hollow compliments are only meant to flatter and lure innocent and naive women to a man's bed. Flirting is meant for flings, affections that last only a fleeting moment before a woman is discarded for another the moment a man gets bored.

[Sure is a textbook definition of flirting here.]

Courting is far more serious. It signifies intent to pursue the relationship to its fullest, that both parties truly wish to learn and to grow and to be with each other for all their days.

[opportunitycosts]

[Whoa, whoa, whoa.]

Okay, you're not wrong, but you're also kind of dated there, Lu Meng. Even when you're serious about someone, you'll flirt. Send them a few compliments, get their attention. But the point of it is to make the other person feel good.

It's natural.