young_oldman | IC Inbox: Empatheias

Not particularly. You two are very close to each other. You just needed to stop worrying so much about your past.

[Really Alvin, what took you so long to take that step? It's been months since Elios's attack when Alvin first brought up the issue.

But he's not as exasperated as he sounds. Really, he's glad for Alvin. It's why his tone loses part of that grumpy edge and softens into a quiet kind of joy.]

Congratulations on becoming a father then, Alvin. You'll do well.

[A small cringe.]

Yeah, well. Would help if I had some advice on how to really be one. Never had a father figure growing up, so I'm kind of out in the dark on this one.

[He didn't have a father figure growing up either. Still, there's a thoughtful pause on the other side as he considers Alvin's question.]

"Fathers must raise their children to be upright, respectable and contributing members of society." That is what I was taught that matters.

However, I believe such strict guidance must be tempered with love and understanding, less it breeds distance between father and child.

I apologize for my frankness, but how have you been raising Miss Elize so far? Where do you feel you are lacking, and what do you think you have done well in?

[A wry laugh.]

Man. That's giving me memories of when I was a kid. Well, before certain events happened. [Has he told Lu Meng about him originally born as the one and only heir to one of the most powerful families in Elympios? Not something he thinks about explaining off the bat, in any case.]

But as for what we've done so far... Kind of hard to say. Really it hasn't been much different than what I've done before. I mean, she's thirteen so it's not like I have to baby her. [Even. If. She sometimes. Acts too adorable.]

I mean... I dunno. [Small vibration of frustration.] I know I can protect and support her, but I don't know if I should be doing something else.

It's good to protect and support her, but you also have to ensure she grows up with the correct morals. This might mean that you have to take a firmer hand when dealing with her as compared to before where you were friends.

If you were friends this might not be so, but as her father, you now have the right to reprimand and correct her as you see fit. Indeed, it is your responsibility to step in the moment you sense something is amiss, even if she is unhappy about it.

Being a father sometimes means having causing unhappiness to your child if it's for their own good. You can't let yourself feel down if Miss Elize is cross with you for disciplining her.

I think I've done that a few times at least. After Sosyne's attack, she snuck out of the house without me knowing. She was fine, but you can better believe I gave her a harsh scolding and grounded her a bit.

[Okay. Maybe he wasn't the harshest person in the world, but he DID give some punishment.]

Then so long as you are firm on where you stand with her as a father to a daughter, I don't see what else you have to be worried about. You've got her best interest in heart, you're working towards being a better person for her sake, and you know how to be firm with her when needed.

[Again a small bubble of uncertainty develops.]

I just feel—I dunno. You're probably right that I don't really have to do much more, but somehow I feel like there should be something I be doing. Like to make up for all the crap I've pulled or something.

Guess I'm just overthinking it, huh?

Yes, you are. [Bluntly confirmed. Let him just poke that bubble of uncertainty.] Still, that you are having concerns is not a bad thing. It just means that you have a strong desire to do this right.

If you are ever in doubt, feel free to contact me again. But as long as your heart is in the right place, you shouldn't have anything to fear.

Edited 2016-01-04 06:05 (UTC)

Heh, thanks, Lu Meng. Maybe what I needed was just to hear someone say that. Not exactly a lot of adults, let alone guys who are fathers around to ask.

Although, with Elize being a girl... I know how to handle women, but raising one is an entirely different story. [Like, he KNOWS there are things that are gonna happen sooner rather than later but. Well. You know.]

I can only speak in general about raising a child. I can't really offer you advice on how to raise a girl in particular.

But you've already ticked some of the boxes. Such as being an overprotective father and vetting her potential suitor. [Yeah. Don't think he forgot how you talked about Roxas. :/ ] Has Roxas officially asked to court Miss Elize yet? [He maaaaaybe asking this just to tease Alvin a little, but he's also genuinely curious on the state of their young charges romantic lives.

Or he supposed, his ex-young charge. He and Roxas were not on speaking terms anymore after the mess that was Sosyne's attack on the city. But he doesn't bear the teen any ill will, and he still cares for Roxas deeply.]

[GOD LUEY WHY. WHY'D YOU HAVE TO CALL THAT DUCK BUTT A POTENTIAL SUITOR—

The samurai is going to feel that unnerved tremble and could probably easily visualize the unenthused face Alvin has.]

As far as I know, no. They're just doing the little flirting game.

[Although. In truth. While he is kiiiiinda protective of Elize about this, Roxas doesn't seem that bad of a kid. Which is actually probably why it's more annoying. Other than being boring and has the worst hair cut, he can't really put any fault on the kid. And if Elize likes him, well. She's old enough to decide what she wants.

It's just. It's just WEIRD. Were this back home where he doesn't have as much a custodial relationship, he'd tease her to hell and back. Like a brother would to a sister. But since he has been taking care of her... It's like somewhere between that and wanting to be sure she's happy.]

Edited (i was so emotional i lost a word) 2016-01-10 10:29 (UTC)

Roxas would not engage in such uncouth behavior. [Hark the heralds, it's the whiteknight!] He would treat Miss Elize with the utmost respect as befitting a young gentleman, even as he courts her for her deeper affections.

[...Uh.]

Maybe "flirting" is different where you're from, but it's actually kind of a normal part of the "courting" aspect.

Unless you're thinking about the way I flirt, and trust me, I don't think Roxas is even close to pull off my levels.

[Is he complimenting himself or insulting himself, who knows it's Alvin.]

How is flirting normal? Flirting is based on the woman's appearance. Such shallow, hollow compliments are only meant to flatter and lure innocent and naive women to a man's bed. Flirting is meant for flings, affections that last only a fleeting moment before a woman is discarded for another the moment a man gets bored.

[Sure is a textbook definition of flirting here.]

Courting is far more serious. It signifies intent to pursue the relationship to its fullest, that both parties truly wish to learn and to grow and to be with each other for all their days.

[Whoa, whoa, whoa.]

Okay, you're not wrong, but you're also kind of dated there, Lu Meng. Even when you're serious about someone, you'll flirt. Send them a few compliments, get their attention. But the point of it is to make the other person feel good.

It's natural.

And you're just too modern. [grumble grumble all you ~~young~~ people from the future and your liberal morals.]

If that's the case, then you should court first before flirting.

[Pft, this is kind of funny, really.]

Nope, got it backwards. First you flirt a little to see if they're actually interested, then you "court." You see, flirting is to just test the waters, see if you're both even attracted or compatible with one another. If you are, then you can start going serious. If you try to go serious first, you'll just put her off.

[Stop having fun out of his expense, Alvin. B| ]

No, first you have to get to truly know a person. Not just the positive traits either; you have to know their flaws and their weaknesses. It's only when you've seen a person at their worst, that you'll know if you can live with and love them for the rest of your lives.

...You know, I am very tempted to actually poll everyone and see what they think about this.

Hmph. Do as you please.

[Grumble grumble.]

Anyway, going back to the initial topic of this conversation. You're doing fine with Miss Elize. So long as you prioritize her well-being and upbringing, you're on the right track.

[He is tempted. VERY TEMPTED. He might actually do it ~~when his own love life isn't crazy~~.

Anyway, he's fine with the change of topic, so he rolls with it. Still amused, though.]

Yeah, I'm going to look into the school system here. See if she can't get some lessons or something. [And now there's a light grin.] But thanks for hearing me out, Lu Meng. It's appreciated.

School sounds like a good idea. Let me know how it works out for you and her.

Will do.

[Then there's a small pause, as if he's going to say something else. But in the end he dismisses it.]

Anyway, I've taken up enough of your time. We should hang out sometime when you're free.

I'm not doing anything else for the rest of the evening. You're welcome to drop by my house, if there's anything else you'd like to discuss.

[Don't think he didn't notice that weird pause.]

(no subject)

opportunitycosts - 2016-01-27 22:22 (UTC) - Expand