IC Inbox: Empatheias

[young_oldman]

[Your birds might get a little plump on bird seeds. Just saying.]

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cw ...exploiting trauma? | Image | at some point in September

[sobored]

[This is one of those times where having a contradictory nature totally pays off. See, Junko's very impulsive, but she's also a very careful planner. So the second she found out that things happened, she wanted to do something. How could she not? After all, she...wasn't responsible at all (for once), but sort of helped move things along. But the timing has to be perfect, so she's managed to hold back from doing whatever terrible ideas have popped into her head between then and now.

But it's okay, because she's got a great idea. No, it's more like a terrible idea. Or maybe more like a despair inducing idea? Or a terrible, awful, despairingly horrible idea even.

See, what she's going to do is contact Lu Meng. But she's not going to do it during the day, or anything like that. She's going to wait until night. Until it's sort of late, but not late enough that she thinks he'll be asleep or anything like that (not that she thinks he's sleeping soundly anymore anyway). Because the way she sees it, answering the crystal is almost second nature? And if somebody's not really awake or alert enough to pay attention, they might do it without thinking, right? And if there's nobody talking or texting, is there any way to tell that it's really someone on the other end? It could totally be one of those the call is coming from inside the house type things, but it's all in your head instead. Or not...even she thinks that's sort of a stupid comparison.

Anyways, when she does contact him, there's really nothing there. No audio, no images, no text. There's just this feeling of...dread. A special kind of dread. The kind of dread that's typically felt when someone's all alone and they hear a strange noise from outside the house or in another room. The kind of dread when someone's sure there's someone watching them but there's nobody around. And you know what? She's so glad that thanks to that stupid drug, she can share this feeling with him! Because before that, she wouldn't be able to call up feelings of dread or fear anywhere near as well because that wasn't really an emotion she was familiar with!

It's not like sheer terror or anything like that, but as it continues, there's a small hint of despair. The hopelessness that ties in so beautifully with that feeling, that feeling that things are going to get worse and there's absolutely nothing that can be done to stop it. To go back to the horror movie example that occurred to her earlier, it's like surviving the first movie and knowing the slasher's gonna come after you in the sequel, but not being able to do anything about it.

Then suddenly there's an image. Given the way images work here, it's a little odd since it's quick and if there were a camera, the angle would be all wrong. There's no background here either. In fact, the easiest way to explain it is that it's more like seeing something out of the corner of your eye. There's a very familiar red dress in the image and that dark hair could really only belong to one person, if you can really call something like that a person, and then just like that...it's gone.]

[young_oldman]

[At first it seems like Junko's just sent all those emotions out to a void. He's become well-acquainted with dread and fear, and yes, despair, because it's hard to hope for the best when there doesn't seem to be any easy way out.

But then Junko sends that image.

It's an explosion, a hideous explosion of every negative emotion on the spectrum bar for Aiada because there's hardly any need to be jealous of anyone not being tortured. Self-hatred and absolute loathing is the key emotion, and it'll slam into her with a force that's akin to a mental sledgehammer. But then there comes the fear, that knee-locking fear that sends him crashing down to the ground in his room, unable to stand at all.

And anger. So much anger. Enough anger and rage to throw cupboards down and toss furniture around the room, as if an angry poltergeist is rampaging around.

And behind all these emotions is grief. Sorrow for all he's done. A lack of faith and trust in himself, because who knows when he'll lash out again? There's a brief memory shared between the two; of Sanae, lying on the ground with her jaw broken, pitifully reaching for him before she faints.

And the cherry to top up this cocktail of negativity? Is the one emotion that Junko craves for.

Despair.

Despair over his emotions, over how much he's hurt people, over what he's done, over what he could do if he ever lost control again.]

[sobored]

[The second those feelings hit her, and boy oh boy do they hit her (but after dealing with Fulbright a while back, she's learned to not stand around anything breakable or be sitting anywhere where she could fall off of it or anything like that), her first thought is that she should probably mentally hang up here.

But no, she wants to see where this goes, so she's going to try and keep herself from reacting the way she wants to react, though flickers of despair do come through on her end. But hey, maybe they'll be unnoticed in the middle of all the absolute outpouring of negativity he's sending her way. Seriously, Lu Meng, she's impressed. She didn't think he had it in him.

And she manages to do okay until that memory and all that despair come through and she's backing out. Not because she wants to, but because even she wouldn't be able to keep some sort of horrible joy or something from slipping through at all of this. His despair over everything. What must've been Sanae's despair over someone like him doing that to her. It's all too perfect.

So she'll leave him there to sink deeper and deeper, while unbeknownst to him, she's just sort of reveling in all of it. But don't worry, she won't be leaving him alone for too long. After all, they're just getting started here.]