Lu Meng Ziming (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
young_oldman) wrote2014-10-11 10:23 am
young_oldman) wrote2014-10-11 10:23 amEntry tags:
IC Inbox: Empatheias
[Your birds might get a little plump on bird seeds. Just saying.]
young_oldman) wrote2014-10-11 10:23 am
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But she can breathe. She can think. The next step after waking is to determine what happened, and just what is currently happening. The first thought on her mind is-- Lu Meng?
She speaks through the amulet, her mental voice hoarse and hushed just as her physical one would be. Yes, she-- she recalls finding him. And he had been hurt, and she had gone to him-- and then-- anger, quickly followed by confusion and panic. Lu Meng--!
She stirs, but the quilt is too tight, pressing him to her back. She recognizes it, though, as the one she brought to him. ....Ah, is it you? Is it really you? From the pain, from her joy of seeing him finally-- she can't help it. She's crying already. He might notice how the tears are warm compared to the rest of the rain, falling upon is back. You're-- you're alive, oh, Lu Meng, I'm s-so sorry...
For not protecting him, for failing him. For forgetting herself and reaching out to him, resulting in him breaking her half her face.
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Yet he doesn't say anything. He makes no response back. For one moment, and it may be an awful, long one to Sanae, there's just an empty silence, punctuated only by the constant rain around them.
And then a whisper at the back of her head. So quiet that she might almost miss it, drowned out by the pitter-patter of the rain around them. But it is a drop of intense grief, and if she's not careful she will find her heart burdened by the same misery that's weighing on him.
Don't cry. Please.
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In a way, she is embracing him, and weakly her arms do tighten briefly over his shoulders before going limp again. B-but...! You--... you died like that-- and I didn't stop it--
She also had wanted to be more composed when she'd see him, but pain makes it easier for her to express all of her emotions. She had wanted to be the one to take care of him when he appeared alive again, but thanks to her actions it's now the reverse. I'm so sorry-- I'm so sorry!
She wishes she could take that misery he feels and throw it off of the island, but she's in no current condition to even try at this point. A-and I'm sorry for touching your shoulder--
CW: Self-harm
He interrupts her there and then. Cuts her off, all sharp-like. And then his mental voice softens, hardness crumbling away like sandcastles at the beach.
Stop. He whispers to her again. Just...just stop apologizing. I beg you..
And then, just like that, the link between their crystals is stopped, leaving Sanae to her thoughts and him to his own. And he marches onward, like the soldier he is. Never looking back, never stooping or tiring or complaining of the damp and the cold.
He can do that. He can handle that.
But he can't handle what he's done. He needs to get her back to the city as fast as possible, because his grip on his emotions is slipping and he's afraid, afraid he's going to lose it again and, and hit her again and oh god what has he done--
...No. He can't think about that. Not now. Not when his priority is to get her seen to. He just needs to keep moving, and eventually they'll meet up with Bobby and Edea and they'll get her the help she needs.
Him? He'll just throw himself off the island. That's what he deserves.
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Sanae can't read his mind, but she can tell from the small storm around him that whatever it is, it's not good. She-- she has to do something-- anything! Anything at all, to help him. But she cannot concentrate on much herself, the flurry of her thoughts mixing with physical impulses of pain, staggered with each breath she draws. So although her mind threatens to give out once more, she persists-- focusing on the most important emotion to her, above her guilt, above her sorrow, above her regret at not helping him. What wins in the race is an emotion familiar to her heart, one that she shares with him freely. I'm... so... so happy that you have returned....
Subtly as the tide, the wind around them becomes milder, and the rain becomes warmer although it still pelts at their backs. His turmoil might be deep, but her joy and love remains true, placating the effects to become more bearable. Perhaps it's a silver lining to what has befallen him, an 'at least' point in his struggles. But that doesn't detract from how strongly she feels, hopefully making each step less harsh to traverse. When she can hardly think straight anymore, love remains the easiest to fall back onto, not despair.
If... if I cannot say sorry-- p-please... know that I am happy you are here... As the amulet is connected to her thoughts and she's semi-conscious as it is, more apologies are whispered without effort.
Oh, but how she attempts to stay conscious for as long as possible! Humming between broken teeth, she sings softly within her mind, trying to keep herself from fading into darkness again. She only manages this far:
Gaze I... at the moon,
Myriad things a-...arise in...thought,
And my thoughts are....sad;--
Yet, ...'tis not for me a...alone,
That the.... autumn time has...
The words fade in and out without rhythm, growing ever fainter, until finally the miko slips into unconsciousness once again. As soon as she does, the rain reverts to its usual cold nature, falling heavier than before.