young_oldman | IC Inbox: Empatheias

[He didn't have any! He's got good self restraint, ok?]

You should know me better than that, Alvin. [Just a mild bit of reproach over the line there. This is Mr Lawful here, under doctor's orders for no alcohol?]

[Aw come on, it's okay to have a little bit.]

Yeah, yeah, I know. [Still amused though, Lu Meng can both feel and hear it. And now there is an awkward pause.

He's not usually one to bring up his own problems. Usually it takes someone to actually ask and tease it out of him. So that begs the question of why he actually called Lu Meng to begin with. He could have just let sleeping dogs lie until the man poked him about it.

Yet, he had actually felt a little guilty about not telling Lu Meng earlier. He really had meant to! He did! Just...well this isn't really an easy topic, even if he finds himself thinking of the older samurai as someone to seek advice from.

And perhaps now is the time that he's thought about actually seeking that advice. ...Granted this is Lu Meng of all people and he already had a wonderful preview of what's in store for him. But he's been stalling, and he knows he's been unfair to the poor girl. He really needs to make a decision, and soon.]

So... Real reason why I'm contacting you. What did you think of Presa?

She reminded me of Dr Kimishima. Confident. Smart. Perhaps more capable of adapting to different situations. Definitely a bit more friendly.

[A pause.] I get the sense she's lonely. Maybe even a bit nostalgic for her home.

Got that kind of vibe, too, huh?

[Feel the smirk.]

Think she's hot?

[This is supposed to be a serious conversation but no. He has to dance around things like always, clearly not addressing Lu Meng's latter observations.]

She's beautiful. [He's as factual as ever.] You're a lucky man.

Anyway, why are you asking me about her? [Straight to the point as always.

Hah, lucky...yeah. [Not much bravado in his words.

There's a noticeable pause before he continues.]

So I gave you the brief rundown about us. How she's actually my ex and, well, dead back in my world.

...and your situation with her is a lot more complicated than her just being dead, isn't it?

Not even scratching the surface.

...are you coming to me to ask for advice on your relationship with Presa?

[Bro. Bro don't do this to him his own relationships (familial, platonic, and...whatever it is with Sanae at the moment) are in a mess.]

Not exactly. Not after you basically told us to get married and have kids.

Then what is it?

You actually kind of touched a little bit about it. Despite our messy past, Presa has made it clear she'd like for us to get back together. I'm not...exactly against it, but I still don't know if it's a good idea.

For her, the last time she saw me I was two years younger, and I've changed a lot. I just...don't know if either of us is really ready for something like that.

[Sigh.]

To tell you the truth, I'm actually afraid.

Have you talked to her about this?

[Because this is really personal stuff, and honestly? Lu Meng's not sure if he's qualified to give advice about it. He doesn't even know Presa.]

Edited 2016-02-15 01:44 (UTC)

A bit. I told her to give me some time to think about it.

The problem is myself, really.

[Less about relationship, more about Alvin himself.]

Alright. What are you afraid of? [Tell Dr ~~Phil~~ Lu Meng all about your love woes.]

No need to get all excited. You should feel honored that I'm even telling you of my woes.

...if you're not done joking around, then I'm going to go to bed and we can have this conversation when you've decided to drop the clown act. Good night.

[Whoops, there goes the line. But seriously bro, it's late.]

[Wait what— BUZZING.]

Jeez man! This isn't easy for me, you know!

It's not going to get any easier if you're going to dance around the matter, is it?

You're approaching me for advice or for a listening ear. I don't mind giving either, but both would require you being honest and open about what exactly it is that's got you worried.

I know, I know.

[Okay. He can do this. Maybe. Well this IS Alvin. Getting deep and honest can be tricky.]

I am afraid of hurting her again. [Of course Luey isn't going to learn about what happened the first go around unless he asks. Just not the time nor does he really want to get into it now.] And I am afraid I'm not good enough to be what she needs. You know how I am, and I know how I can be.

Most of all, I don't want to screw things up again. I know I won't do anything stupid on purpose, but I don't feel confident about it.

[Mental exhale.]

There, that's basically it. For all if my bravado about everything else, on this I'm a coward.

No, you're not a coward. But you are over-thinking it.

[He sighs.] I'm no expert on what it takes for a successful courtship. For that, you will have to ask Sanae. But I do know you, and I know the kind of man you are right now.

You're someone that's trying to do better than the person you were. You've had your successes and your failures, but overall consider where you are now. You've a successful restaurant, a wonderful adopted daughter, and a respected member of our society. You've done so much in just a year and a half.

[Alvin listens and—well, he's not really going to protest. Alvin isn't so humble or blind to know he's worked hard. He might not be able to believe it sometimes because it really is all kinds of incredible. But he knows.

Doesn't stop those nagging feelings of doubt sometimes, though.]

I know—well, I mean I know, but I guess it's just hard to shake off a few things.

[Small pause as he thinks—ah. No.]

And I guess you are right. I have been thinking about this a lot. Way too much. [And now a small laugh.] Kind of weird when I think about that.

If you carry on like this, you'll end up looking old like me. [There, a little Lu Meng joke.]

In all seriousness though, you'll be alright. It's hard to shake your doubts, and I don't know if you'll ever be able to let go of all of them, but I don't think anyone can avoid all uncertainties when considering to pursue a romance. Well, unless you're naive. But you're not, and that might actually help your relationship in the long-run.

Heh, maybe. But you do have a point about not becoming a stiff old man.

[Voice of doubt, but there's a genuine pulse of gratitude with that little tease back.]

Thanks Lu Meng. Sorry for bothering you about this. I know it's not something you'd really be interested in.

You're right; I don't like love or romance much.

But it is always in my interests when my friend comes to me for help. I know I might get a little cross, but please don't hesitate to speak with me if you need it.

(no subject)

opportunitycosts - 2016-02-15 06:20 (UTC) - Expand