young_oldman | IC Inbox: Empatheias

[Does it matter what kind of god she is? She's a god, a divine being.

It's a tense moment as he tries to figure out what to say, or even to sort out what he's feeling. The water in the glass near his hand starts to ripple as if the glass is being shaken by a vibration.

And then there's a sharp crack. The top of the glass now has a small crack, that inches slowly and slowly down the glass until Lu Meng takes another deep breath.]

I see. Then...I suppose my concerns are unwarranted then. [Just talking in a normal, casual tone. And the crack on the glass almost seems to reverse as if time if being rewound.]

[ Worry flickers over her expression upon seeing that crack. Somehow, it's much louder than any of his previous shouting, and it concerns her a lot more than his anger. ]

....That's--... no, that's not entirely true. [ The glass repairing is odd. She doesn't know what it means or what he may be feeling to create something like that. She'd like to think that maybe it really isn't bothering him, but given the strange calm that has settled in, she doubts it. ] As you've seen, I'm not invulnerable. [ To exhaustion or pain. By all accounts, she should be affected by being slingshot into space if she can't even withstand a punch from Lu Meng. But the world of Gensokyo is mysterious like that-- flying through space or being in a nuclear reactor won't have lasting effects or damage, but a good melee combo will knock someone right out! ] Or omnipotent.

[ She wishes she were more powerful though, if only to not worry others. But from what she's come to learn from those she knows here, friends will still worry. And that's okay. If fact, if she were to be asked what she truly feels deep down in her heart... she feels a sense of thankfulness that someone cares enough to be worried for her.

She tries not to betray that worry, though. ] Thank you... for your concerns, though. [ She offers a small smile, trying to lighten the mood. ] It means you're a good friend.

[There's a twitch of his lips, an attempt at a smile. But not only is it weak...it's sad. And to her statement about them being friends, well. All the can do is bow his head towards her in respect, eyes cast downwards and away.]

I am honored then.

[ This... isn't right. Him lowering his head in respect, casting his eyes down as if it would be a sin to gaze upon her. This-- this reaction-- is exactly why she's been a bit hesitant to reveal her godhood to others. Other people such as Alvin might not have treated her differently because of her divinity, but this gives her hesitance value.

And she knows what he's doing, and why he's doing it, too. He's showing respect-- a kind of respect that she doesn't think she's earned as a god. ] You don't have to treat me any differently, you know.

It's not as if I'm a god from your world.

[That's not true. He wants to point out that she knows of his story, that the Three Kingdoms did exist in her world. He had existed in her world, in some way or form.

But it's not his place to argue with a god. So he merely quietly inclines his head and solemnly, politely declines.]

You are still a god. I would treat you no differently than any other god I have met here in the city.

[With reverence. With respect.

With distance.]

[ She wants to argue with him, to plead with him to not treat her any differently. She's still the same Sanae she was a few minutes ago, and he was yelling at her for talking about being slingshot into space!

She doesn't like this. She shouldn't have said anything. The candle on their table flickers.

She smiles, looking down at the napkin in her lap. ] ...But you would treat me differently from a human.

[ She definitely doesn't have the presence of a god, if he couldn't tell until she told him so. ]

Yes.

[There's no hesitation there whatsoever. It's a fact of life. How can he treat a god the same way as a human? That makes no sense. He keeps his gaze on the tablecloth in front of him.

The glass nearby him cracks again.]

But I won't embarrass or reveal your true nature to anyone else. And I still think well of you. I still admire and like you for who you are. [It's a weak compromise, but it's his word that he will try to balance Sanae his friend and Sanae the goddesses.]

Edited 2016-01-27 15:59 (UTC)

[ She's always wanted to be a good god-- one that deserves respect. One that has done things to deserve respect. She's always believed that gods do good, which is what made them great and benevolent, looking out for humans and putting their well being first. Granted, she has expressed respect and reverence towards gods she hardly knows anything about, including the ones who have does questionable things in their past. But this is the first time she has truly questioned that mentality. She doesn't want to be a god that automatically commands respect, if it means she will lose a close friend.

Will it bring him comfort, she wonders, if she blesses him? ] ....There's a hierarchy, and we've all heard of it. The lay people, the servants of the shrine, the ordained, the lesser gods, and then the higher gods. One level of the pyramid serves the other, all the way up to the top.

But I've always thought it would be better to be the opposite, to flip the pyramid on its point. [ She explains softly. ] The gods are at the bottom, and it's we who must serve the world, protect it, and make sure everyone is content and safe.

Just-- keep that in mind, okay? I'm... I'll always be here for you, if you need me. [ She watches the crack again. Maybe they should order their food to go. She can't take this mood anymore, and she feels as if she's lost something dear to her. ]

I know. I know you'll always be there for me.

[Why does this sound so final? Why does this sound like they're going their separate ways? Why does this make his chest hurt with an ache he doesn't know or understand?

His eyes glancing to the side, afraid that she'll see this emotion reflected in them.]

I--[There are words burning at the back of his throat, words that he needs to say. His heart is beating fast, each beat a painful thump, because she is a god and he is a human, and he should never have drawn so closely to her, he should never have developed this friendship, these feelin--

A cough, and then a weak smile as he finally looks back up at her, eyes soft and apologetic...but respectful.]

I wonder. Are you going to be the first god going to space then?

[ An uneasy feeling settles within her heart. From that slight emotional look, to his respectful gaze, but she feels as if something has changed within their relationship, and not entirely for the better.

But she can guess that he doesn't wish to talk about it, and-- well. Perhaps she's jumping to conclusions. And she's trying not to do that. So time will tell if this change with persist. And so, Sanae pleasantly continues the conversation, although there's a noted superficial aspect to it. ] Oh... I don't know about that. [ She smiles.

And oh hey, their food is being brought out. ] There are already gods and goddesses of the moon and sun. They're technically always in space.

Do they live in space? Or in the heavens?

[And although the food smells good, he's really lost a lot of his appetite to eat. He gives a small nod of thanks to the waiter and unfolds the napkin; he's picked up a thing or two about dining customs in Verens over this stay here.

And the last thing anyone wants is to be a messy eater in front of a divine being.]

[ She'll go ahead and take a few bites of her own meal, but she may notice if he's not really touching his own plate. ] Hmmm....

The celestial plane, or the Takamagahara-- that's where most of the heavenly gods live. It's among the stars and yet you can't get there by simply flying into space. It's its own realm. [ She waves her hand. ] Does that make sense? I haven't actually been to the Takamagahara myself, but one day I just might!

[ She smiles, giggling. And hoping to encourage a more pleasant conversation. ] Although if it's not as beautiful as actual space-space, then there's no reason to stay.

IC Inbox: Empatheias

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