[And just as sudden as he had that outburst, does it die down. His shoulders slump, and then shake, and it's even hard for him to keep looking at Alvin right now because he's so ashamed of himself. His voice is low, and it cracks at points because he's just so broken right now.]

Forget Sosyne. Piphron. Forget Elios. I've already raised a hand against someone who only tried to help me. That was all me. No Arehtei involved.

There is no control. I can only manage what I expose myself to. No darkness. No scissors. No young children. No tight spaces. [His bandaged hands are shaking as he raises them up for Alvin to see.] No contact on my hands or fingers. I can't even walk down the road where she took me away.

I've...I'm changed, Alvin. For the worse. I can work on these triggers, try to minimize what they might cause, but they will always be there. I will never be fully cured. You can ask the doctors, the emotional counselors. This is...There is nothing I can do to fully rid myself of this affliction.

[And therein lies the core of the matter. All that raging frustration, all that anxiety and stress and hatred and anger...it all boils down to the fact that for once in his life, hard work and determination will not fix him.]