Red. [He calls out the boy's name, gently.] I'm not the best person for you to talk to about this. I'm still struggling with my own emotions as well.

But you can overcome this. Just not in this way. If you continue on as you are right now, you're only going to reinforce your own negative thoughts against yourself, and you're just going to keep blaming yourself for things that were out of your control.

There are doctors that you can talk to. Emotional doctors. They can help you work through your emotions and help you figure out what you need to let go of what's happened.