young_oldman: beats down on the rooftops (And the rain)
Lu Meng Ziming ([personal profile] young_oldman) wrote 2015-11-08 01:39 am (UTC)

Somewhat.

Most of my life has been spent proving that my lord's choice was the right one. He said he saw potential in me, and gave me a chance to redeem myself. I owe him, his family and his cause my life.

It wasn't just honing my strengths; I had to work on my weaknesses. My hair-trigger temper, my hasty and short-sighted nature.

[A pause.]

My illiteracy. I never went to school so I couldn't read or write. And because I couldn't read, I knew nothing about strategy. I never read the Classics, so my manners were unrefined, rough, and oftentimes rude, even if I did so unconsciously.

In short, my first few years in the army were very difficult, and I was disliked by my plenty of my peers who were envious of the confidence that my lord had in me. I didn't find favor with the higher ranks either; most of them disapproved of my lord bending the rules for my sake. I had no special merit or talent to deserve that mercy. And I still don't really have any outstanding talents.

But the important fact is that I worked at my flaws, one by one. And although I am as average as any man, I was driven, determined and stubborn enough to believe that as long as I strove to be the man my lord saw in me, I would achieve it. I had faith in my lord...and faith in myself.

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